Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Kitty Kitty Ketamine

Two jobs worth remembering, one for the mechanism and treatment, the other for the openness of our patient.

An emergency call to a 'car vs. pedestrian', 20km down the road - an unusually long drive for a crew that is usually confined to the city centre. But if everyone else is out, we're more than happy to jump in!

It was in a sparsely populated area, lots of trees, and not much light. On arrival we saw a driveway, one female slumped against a wall and three males standing around. Danger Bells? Danger Bells!

Out comes Mr. Maglite, just in case.

Turns out that the female had been run over by her own car when the handbrake decided to stop working. And the males were husband and two friends. Good, disregard threat, concentrate on medical.

Pain was pretty bad (8 out of 10, and our patient had already been through a lot of physical pain in her life). Extrication would be tricky with all that pain, mechanism of injury...2 tonne vehicle rolled over elbow and ankle region - Ketamine!

Beautiful stuff, sent our patient off with the fairies without any side effects - ensured by a nice and slow administration IV.

And the long transport time back to hospital meant I had heaps of time to do my paperwork.

Then another female patient who will probably not leave my memory. She was big, she was bold, she was beautiful.

She was also very drunk.

Well, she constantly asked us if she was pretty. Her friend said yes, which then prompted her to tell us that she was pretty. We could just silently nod to ourselves, not wanting to get involved with such claims. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, and my eye is not large enough to behold such quantities of beauty.

She then continued to tell us what her favourite sexual position is, including favoured point of entry. All without any input from ourselves. We were a) impressed on such open-mindedness towards complete and utter strangers, and b) turned off by the thought of such actions.

As they say, it takes all types.