Saturday, December 19, 2009


Standing in a pub at my girlfriends Christmas Party, a waitress approaches our group and offers me some sausage, dripping with oil, wrapped in bacon, dripping in fat. I am torn between health and hunger, but the latter wins.

"Yum. May as well die a slow and painful death" I say.
 "Thank you." she replies.

I should have stuck a wooden pole through her heart.