Friday, September 18, 2009


Female, post assault, now short of breath, sweaty, complaining of chest pains.

It's late-night shopping in the 'burbs, Usually at this time of night we can get away with our lights only, but the traffic is flowing yet pretty thick. The siren bounces off the walls of the neighbouring houses, mushing a clean wail in to a warbled song from a dying duck who has just hit puberty.

A couple of minutes later we walk in through the doors of our patients house. Our first impression is to take  the pressure down, everything is going good so far. Turns out there was a fight between mum and daughter, and we have a more emotional rather than physical situation to deal with. Attendant attends to patient, I gather some background info for our paperwork. Apparently the daughter is still in the house.


I turn around. This was a child's voice, a little girl. Was that the offender? Nobody to be seen.


A child's voice, young female, a little scratchy, possibly even a little....


...squawky. Damn bird! 

I had not consciously taken in the massive bird cage next to the front door. Cocky the cockatoo (well, a galah to be precise) was toying with my brain, and only trying to be polite. I walk up to the cage to reciprocate the greeting.

"Hello little bird!" I say.

"MEOW" it replies.

This bird has lost its conkers. Absolutely out of its mind, stark raving mad. Then again, if you are a caged bird surrounded by 6 cats, you would pick up a bit of foreign language here and there. As we leave, the bird looks at us and tells us to "nick off". No manners whatsoever.

- ~ -

The other jobs of the night weren't anything special, but here is a quick summary:

  • Fellow released from hospital just hours before, still complaining of neck pain. Back to hospital again for reevaluation and pain management.
  • Kid with Asthma, Kid was fine.
  • Old feller with a blocked catheter/haematuria (blood in urine). Nice chap.
  • RFDS transfer with a sedated, intubated and ventilated patient.