Making friends is easy

We take over from the night crew, who tell us that one of them had struck lucky with a dimensionally challenged and visually challenging member of the nursing home staff.


A little something like this:

Staff: You might need this (hands over emesis bag) 

Ambo: Why? We have plenty in the truck! 

Staff: No, I really think you need this. I'm sure it's about the right size condom for you! *winks*

Registered Incompetence

We got hammered last night, job after job after job.

Great when some nursing home colleagues are happy to assist you with your patient, stating that "she normally isn't like this", and that her medications aren't working, and everything is going downhill, and she needs hospital, patient is really breathing fast and blah blah blah. I would like to share the following conversation snippet between me and the RN:

Me: So, this patient is usually GCS 14, then?

RN: What? Huh? *scuffle* Hospital! Worsening!

Me: Beverly, your resident, does she normally present with GCS 14?

RN: What? Huh? What's GSC?

At this stage my colleague had to leave the room, and I heard heard versus wall banging from outside. I popped our confused, anxious, dazed and hyperventilating patient on our stretcher, wheeled her out in to safety, and magically she calmed down, had nothing majorly wrong with her, and was quite pleasant, if somewhat confused...as it said in the nursing notes.

And to think she is in charge of peoples mums and dads out there...horrible.