Overheard in Hospital

Nurse: "We're going to slide you from this trolley on to that bed now, OK?"

Patient (in pain): "No (cringe), wait (pant)! I think my arsehole's fallen off."

Allergies

Time: Afternoon
Place: Back of an Ambulance
Person: Yours truly looking after an elderly gentleman

"Do you have any allergies, sir?"

"Yes, but she's at home."

Things that make you go *cringe*

My current paramedic Kath thinks I make awful jokes. Kath thinks they are getting worse by the minute. Kath seemingly does not appreciate such humour.

Zoom back in time to this morning.

Station: "BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP"

We walk, half asleep to the van. I am driving, Kath is attending. I grab the street directory to look up where we are going.

Me: "OK, map reference 186 K9"

Kath: "That's a nice name for a dog"

Me: "Hmm?"

Me: *blank stare*

click

Ouch . That was bad.